Twenty Years Already?!

Somehow we have arrived at this milestone, one of the many milestones where you stop and think, “How did that go by so fast?!”

We are experiencing many milestones during this season of life, turns out, like high school graduation for our eldest, prepping to move to a new town, this double-decade wedding anniversary, to name a few.

We did manage to carve an evening out to celebrate and spent some time reminiscing. While enjoying a fancy pants chocolate cheesecake—slathered with delicious pistachio ice cream—and some bonus on-the-house-because-it’s-your-anniversary raspberry sorbet, the song “(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons” played across the speakers. The song that was playing when we shared our first dance as a married couple.

As if it were planned and playing just for us.

When our lovely waitress asked how we met, Jeremy tried to claim I was not able to tell the difference between a soccer ball and volleyball when sparks first flew. Sigh. I told him to re-read the book I wrote and named after him, for goodness’ sake. So I pulled out a copy when we got home so we could read and remember together, even if we have slightly different memories of our meet-cute (I have always wanted to use that term).

It feels like life has been moving in double time lately. When an anniversary—or any special milestone—comes along, we have to take a few seconds to pause, to reflect. And so I will leave you with one of my very favorite memories, and encouragement to find the time to reflect on some of your own!

The Green-Clad Kicker

Chapter 4

September 14, 2001, Kat’s nineteenth birthday, Billings, Montana

“Happy birthday dear Ka-at! Happy birthday to you!” I finish my lovely solo serenade.

Kat blows out the single candle on the brownie delight the nice waitress here at Mackenzie River Pizza presented her with.

“Thanks, Jame,” Kat says, smiling at me before taking a large bite.

We already devoured almost all of our large Rancher pizza and order of cheesy, garlicky lodgepoles. I always thought I could eat a lot. And then I met Kat. Just another reason we are roommate-soulmates. We share the delicious giant brownie delight. Mmm, brownie delight (Homer Simpson). Then I take care of the check. How classy of me. We grab our coats and scooch out of our romantic booth. As we weave our way toward the door, the waitress hurries up behind us with our Styrofoam container of leftovers. Whew! Thank goodness she remembered. We are going to be needing those leftovers in a few hours.

As we drive home, we start and restart the song we are currently working on memorizing. I listen to the intro and begin, in a singsong talking voice, “Is she really going out with him?”

Kat replies, in her best Brooklyn accent, “Well theh she is, let’s aska.”

“Betty, is that Jimmy’s ring you’re wearing?” I demandingly query, shooting a sharp look at my driver.

Kat nods and gives a sideways glance. “Mm-hmm.”

“Gee, it must be great riding with him. Is he picking you up after school today?”

“Uh-uh.”

“By the way, where’d you meet him?”

She belts out, “I met him at the candy store!”

She continues, and I smile and giggle while waiting for my next line.

* * *

“Here you go, Kev. I’m gonna take a walk.” I hand Kevin a half-full bottle of strawberry

Boone’s Farm, and Deana Carter’s song immediately starts running through my head. I wave goodbye to Maci, Alex, Megan, Roger, and Brent. As I lazily amble toward the door, I hear Kevin and Maci adamantly insisting—again—that Megan must try a Rocky Mountain hot dog.

“Yes, they are red,” Maci says. Her raised voice carries out of the room as I smile while opening the door. I proceed to enter the deserted dorm hall.

Julio stopped by a few minutes ago to take Kat outside for some fresh air. I figure I better go check on her. I grab the handrail and make my way carefully down the one flight of stairs in this building. As I carelessly meander down the long, quiet hallway I glance from one door to another, wondering who might be awake.

I nearly reach the exit when a soccer ball rolls rapidly out of number 123. I reach down to pick it up as, simultaneously, two long tan arms reach out from the open dorm door. I reach and grab the ball first, then look up to see who is attached to those arms. A gap-toothed smile greets me, below kind green-brown eyes and a worn Arizona Diamondbacks baseball cap covering wispy brown hair. “Hello, Jamie.”

“Hi, Jeremy.” I promptly respond to what has become a familiar exchange on campus.

I spin the ball confidently in my hand and nonchalantly reveal, “I used to play volleyball in high school.”

Momentarily taken aback, he pauses, then politely responds, “Uh, that’s a soccer ball.”

I raise my right eyebrow and look directly at him. “I know.”

Sweet Eighteen

March has always been one of my favorite months because it is my birthday month. (I realize March can really mess with your head—what with its wildly inconsistent weather patterns that make one feel almost simultaneously hopeful spring will and possibly has already arrived, to feeling like the darkness and cold may never leave—but we are all complicatedly paradoxical.) It was also the birthday month of my Grandma Joyce (and Dr. Seuss (March 2)), my Grandpa Jim (March 22), and is the birthday of my dear Uncle Gary (today!), my kids’ Grandpa Greg (March 24), and my baby cousin Joshua (March 25 )! See why it is such a fun month?

Eighteen years ago it became for sure my very favorite month when it was the month I first became a mother.

Jordan Kate Duprey was born on March 30, 2008 in Richmond, Virginia. Fast forward almost eighteen years, and this weekend she and I are celebrating our birthdays together, just the two of us. We have been walking and sleeping and eating and reading and soaking in a mineral springs and arguably doing all the things people should do to celebrate birthdays.

Naturally, memories of my first baby’s childhood and adolescence have been popping up and playing through my mind. We recently watched baby videos and marveled at how intelligent and adorable she was (still is) and have been looking at photos, as high school graduation is right around the corner. All the memories, all the emotions. First words, first steps, first plane rides, first visits to the beach.

First falls.

June 3, 2009

Yesterday evening, just before dinner, Jordan managed to slip through the rails on the balcony of our 2nd story apartment and landed on the cement. Right when I got her in my arms, she was moaning, but at least awake and moving all her limbs. The men in the ambulance were incredible, and Jordan would stop whimpering long enough to wave “Hi” & “Bye bye” to them. She also tried to make a few baby signs on the way, which kept my heart at peace.

We have been very well taken care of here at MCV, and after many scans, tests, and observations, we have received the best news possible, considering the circumstances. Jordan has three fractures on her skull (picture them sort of like she was wearing a headband), but they separated cleanly and there is absolutely no need for surgery; they should heal perfectly in up to four weeks. Her brain is absolutely unscathed- she even started saying “Uh-oh!” She’s been signing “Thank you” and “ALL DONE” to the nurses when they’ve been taking her blood, etc. Such a polite, intelligent, beautiful, sassy little girl! :)

We received the final word of clearance from the neurosurgeon and pediatric surgeon this morning, so we got to take off her neck brace and now she gets to eat! She just finished some Cheerios and peanut butter crackers, sucked down some apple juice, and now she is walking around the hallways, with only a little help from Daddy.

Thank you thank you for all your prayers; the power of prayer truly is overwhelming. We all know our lives are in God’s hands, but sometimes that fact is really just thrust in our faces! Never have I understood the phrase “in the blink of an eye” so well. Just a reminder to turn to God in celebrations and crises. Love you all so much. Now go give your kids/parents/friends/loved ones a big hug and say a prayer for this life we get to live while we’re here!

Love,

Jamie, Jeremy, and THE JORDAN KATE

Watching your children fall is heart-wrenching. It physically hurts me when my kids hurt. The temptation is to try to do anything in our power to protect or shield our kids. But no matter how carefully we watch them, sometimes they still slip through the balcony slats. I know the life we live is a both-and. Jesus illustrates this in a beautifully agonizing way on the cross. Each year that goes by, I try to embrace what it means to be people who are loved so much that we get to have free will, and that because of that, we will always have to hold both joy and sorrow (and everything in between).

Over the years Jordan has had ups and downs, as we all do. She has dealt with health struggles that have been frustrating, painful, and often debilitating. But just like that first big fall, she keeps getting back up. It would be easy for her to assume a victim posture, to feel sorry for herself, to make excuses, to be negative—and fairly understandable if she did—but instead, she continues to teach us what true resilience looks like.

The world would be a better place if we all showed up being willing to face challenges head on, with grit and honesty and perseverance and hope, like Miss Jordan Kate.

Happy birthday, my darling girl.

Sharing Stories

I have always enjoyed basketball. (Okay, for a while there one might say I was slightly obsessed, but that was years ago). This winter I get to help coach middle school basketball for a season—they needed someone to cover, and my son is on the team—and I have been trying to be intentional about naming and remembering my “Why”. If I can keep on, or at least close to, the forefront why I commit to something, it helps keep me focused and encouraged, ideally so I can help others feel encouraged.

So why have I always been drawn to basketball? I suppose there is just something about it. When I was a kid first learning the sport, I loved the challenge of building then honing new skills. When watching, I loved the space to not only engage in but to react to a wide range of emotions; I have still since found very few spaces where I get to jump and shout and fret and even cry. When coaching, I love getting to know more about who the other coaches and all of the players are; one of my favorite things is running into or getting a text or call from former players.

Now when I look back on my experiences of playing and watching and coaching, I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned and relationships I have made because of basketball. I have learned so much about myself from reflecting on and writing about being a part of different basketball teams. Sharing stories about my time playing as a kid and into college has given me the opportunity to consider who I was, am, and want to be.

My encouragement is to take some time and think about these questions:

- What are some life experiences that shaped me?

- What are some of my favorite stories to tell?

- What am I passionate about?

- Who are some of the people I got to meet by being part of a group or a team?

- What are lessons I carry with me learned through being part of those groups or teams?

- What do I learn about myself when reflecting back on past experiences?

I would love to hear your answers to these questions, so please connect!

And if you haven’t read my reflections about growing up and playing sports in a small town, please read The Yellow Sports Bra: A True Story of Love, Faith, and Basketball. (If you just contact me directly, I can hook you up with a signed copy.)

I love to hear what memories come up for readers when they hear about my stories!

Praise for Jamie Graham Duprey’s The Yellow Sports Bra

“Jamie’s great storytelling brought back very special memories of growing up in small-town Montana as a coach’s son. All the familiar names and places put a smile on my face. Jamie does an unbelievable job helping us realize how many life lessons we learn from high school athletics, and how much pride and energy sports bring to these communities. Great job, Jamie! I really enjoyed and appreciate this memoir and know others will, too!

—Tim Hauck, Philadelphia Eagles safety coach, former NFL player

“In the great tradition of diaries translated to books, Jamie Graham Duprey’s The Yellow Sports Bra is not only a vicarious thrill for those in love with small-town basketball and small-town life, but also a deep reminder of what these fast-disappearing cultures have to offer the world at large: a sense of community, faith, courage, interdependence, and strength in numbers. You will love it as I did.”

—Philip Aaberg, Grammy- and Emmy-nominated composer

“Duprey’s delightful memoir is a nostalgic look into small-town sports. Her honest, engaging, and often humorous voice takes the reader on a moving, exuberant, lighthearted adolescent journey. Anyone who recalls and cherishes ‘small-town’ life, athletics, love, and friendship should greatly enjoy this book!”

—Alan K. Simpson, former US senator (WY)

“The detailed play-by-play action sent me back in time to my days as Jamie’s coach. The vivid descriptions of the basketball games brought back butterflies, nerves, frustration, intensity, laughter, and triumph. Jamie Duprey depicted a powerful story focused on her love of basketball, her team, and her community. This story will describe to young athletes the importance of work ethic, grit, and teamwork. The pride of small-town sports and small-town living resonates in this amazing story.”

—Linda VanDyke, coach, entrepreneur, fitness instructor

“This book is such a great read. It brings back lots of great memories that I had forgotten about. Jamie tells a real story of the teamwork, identity, character-building, and life experiences shared by thousands of young athletes who have grown up in small-town America, like Chester.”

—Casey FitzSimmons, rancher, former NFL player for the Detroit Lions

“This story will resonate with anyone who played a sport, especially those of us fortunate enough to grow up in a small community. I found myself smiling, nodding, and even cringing as I recalled similar experiences to those artfully described in the book. Thank you, Jamie Duprey, for highlighting the beauty and value of sports, friendships, and life lessons in the context of small-town Montana.”

—Greta Koss, coach, former WNBA player

“Jamie Duprey paints an inspiring picture of small-town pride and commitment toward an ultimate goal of winning a state championship. Whether you grew up in a small town or not, Duprey’s memoir will give you an understanding of what sports means to tight-knit communities and the positive effects they have on them. Her story reminds us that lifelong relationships along the journey are the ultimate prize!”

—Mick Durham, men’s head basketball coach, MSU Billings

“Small-town basketball breeds small-town character. Especially in remote and cold places like the Montana ‘Hi-Line,’ there is no other sport that allows kids to bond as a team, mature as adolescents, compete on a high level, and move on as mature adult leaders. Jamie Duprey’s heartwarming story of life, grief, and victory reminds us all of the treasure of youth sports.”

—Sherry Winn, two-time US Olympian, NCAA coach of the year, CEO/founder of The Winning Leadership Company

“Nothing beats small-town America. A fabulous collection of fun, inspiring, and action-packed stories, Jamie brings to life a dream that was kindled in her heart since the third grade. She truly shows that you can become you own champion and achieve your dreams on your own terms.”

—Duane Martinz, professional speaker, sales trainer, life coach, entrepreneur, and author of Becoming Your Own Champion

“I felt transported back to a time where emotions ran high, life seemed daunting and marvelous all at once, and the biggest concern was what to wear! I laughed, I cried, and I laughed some more. This story offers a glimpse into the quintessential small-town teenage experience. I knew Jamie was a remarkable person when I met her at four years old, and now she has proven to be a remarkable writer as well.”

—Emily Repnak, former Chester Coyote, wife, mother, teacher

There You Are!

The last few nights I, along with many other parents, have been sitting idle in our school’s theatre parking lot. Since the sun sets just after noon these days, or so it seems, the scene is of course pitch black—save for some incredible Northern Lights two of the nights!—and parents’ eyes flit from phones to the auditorium entrance, anticipating the release of the preteen and teenage actors.

We parents of children who are still “under our roof” but fairly “independent” (I use quotes around that word, because in my experience they love to exercise their independence yet still struggle to independently clean up after themselves!), spend much of our time thinking about, worrying about, wondering about, and caring for our children in oh-so-many ways. I think a lot about experiencing these various seasons of parenthood. Some of the things I wonder about are quotes like, “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems,” “It won’t be like this for long,” or Tina Fey’s hilarious and hit-home musings about how we often think about and approach our teenagers.

“Having a teenage daughter is like having an office crush. You’re thinking about them a lot more than they’re thinking about you. You go up to their door and you’re like, a bunch of us are going to eat dinner … you’re probably busy.” —Tina Fey

Regardless of the season of parenting we are in, our core longings remain the same, for our children to know they are seen, heard, and loved unconditionally.

Our basic human desire.

In this season where days are short and dark, despair and anxiety threaten to swallow us up. With so much continued chaos with the inundation of information, misinformation, and everything in between, it is difficult to navigate daily life with peace and hope (I am making broad assumptions here, in assuming this is an overall feeling, but I certainly feel this personally, often). So here I offer a scene of hope:

When these student-actors finally are released from the theatre and into the dark parking lot—filled with gently roaring motors and parking lights shining—what I witness gives me hope. Each child walks slowly outside, into the darkness, hesitantly scanning with their eyes, searching for that recognizable vehicle. Their posture communicates reluctance, apprehension.

I watch the door like a hawk, because I want to see my child before he sees me. Because to watch him first walk slowly, and with uncertainty, to the transformation that occurs when he locates where I am waiting—and more importantly, that I am waiting—reminds me that the roller-coaster of parenting in and through all these seasons is worth the ride. The transformation is posture turning from shoulders low, eyes ping-ponging right to left, steps slow to chest open, eyes locked, and a straight sprint, right toward the familiarity. Right toward the safety.

Right toward the love.

This is how I think our Creator God waits for us. God waits for us in that patient, steady, unchanging, light-in-the-darkness, yes-I-am-here kinna way. So as the days grow even shorter, even darker, know that you are like that child leaving the bright building and entering that space that at first feels a bit scary. God is waiting, with the the lights on, always.

Caring for the Widow, the Orphan, the Alien

My husband has been delivering sermons for about twenty years. A couple Sundays ago he preached likely the best sermon he has ever preached. (Yes, I am biased, but I have also heard almost every single one of his sermons, so if I say it is amazing, that means something.) :)

It is incredibly difficult for me to stay informed with current events without feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and to let pessimism sneak in. (However, I press on, trying to read as much daily news—and I mean actual “news,” not simply my favorite podcaster or only one source of anything, always—as I can handle, because I do believe it is our responsibility to be informed citizens.

This message reminds me who Jesus was, who Jesus is, and who Jesus encourages me to be. The message starts around minute 49:00, and the scripture he references is read just before (around 43:00 minutes); the scripture is Jeremiah 1:1-10 & 7:1-11 and John 2:13-22.

As/after you listen, please think about and share:

• What lands personally for me when exploring these ancient texts?

• What connections can be made between these stories in history and what is happening in our world today?

• What would I like to know more about?

• What questions do I have?

Be self reflective. Take some time to pray and wonder about how you are and want to be showing up in this world. Be curious.

And for God’s sake, be kind.

Summer So Far

It is difficult for me to describe, but I feel a physical desire to write every day. I have not written anything for many days, weeks even, but I think about things I would like to write about all the time! In the spirit of self-grace-giving, I am going to do a quick bit of writing now and keep looking to carve out pockets of time to write and share more.

In the spirit of my first writing practice—which started with me journaling most everyday of my life from about sixth grade all the way through high school—here is a super quick journal-ish check-in from summer so far:

• A couple weeks ago, my son Justin and I ran over to our nearby city and caught up with my friend Brian, a brother-like figure I grew up with in small town Montana, and his family. One of his sons was playing baseball, and we got to catch up on a picnic bench, shaded by a tree.

• That same weekend, one of my best friends since preschool, Kaitlynn, and her family stopped through on their way to yet another baseball tournament. Her family stayed with us for several days, and it was such a gift to watch our kids—who hadn’t seen each other since they were tiny—reconnect and have so much fun together.

• Then my husband Jeremy took our boys to MN to attend some live sporting events and got to spend time with a family who housed Jer during seminary and also the best man from our wedding, Peter. We love connecting with people from so many seasons of life!

• Last week our family has gotten/is getting to spend time with parents/grandparents, which is the best! No matter how old I get, it is comforting how comforting it is getting to spend time with our parents. (Still going to post this pic, even though apparently I still can’t figure out where to look in selfies; how does my mom know how to do this so well, and I don’t?!)

There are other fun things that have happened this summer, but the summer has also been a bit of a blur! So with this post I am stopping to reflect and send some encouragement that, even as we experience and observe struggle and confusion and fear and tragedy and uncertainty, we simultaneously experience connection and joy and love and laughter and hope. We as humans always have and always will—until God comes once again and once for all—live in this wonderfully mysterious paradox. As we name and acknowledge this complicated reality, I hope you can find fun and fulfillment and faith!

How Did That Go?

It is my birthday! Milestone days provide the perfect opportunity for reflection. On this podcast episode, Jeremy asked me lots of questions that tapped into trying new things and how we learn and grow from it.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KUl8376z5bx6tSt0n09HC?si=PkXMl70hTkStMXdfQc_uQA&nd=1&dlsi=cb88843c746b4b9b

And now I am heading to dinner to celebrate!

Enjoy!

Rising Star

Our daughter Jordan has been fighting a lot of health issues for the last three years. A silver lining—which hopefully we find within any struggle—is she has learned a lot about self advocacy, self care, and considering what exercise and eating habits serve her best.

Jordan submitted an essay to a local news station and was chosen to have a segment recorded on “Rising Star of the West.” She shared about processed food in school cafeterias and considering healthier options for her and her peers (unfortunately there isn’t an option to re-watch the segment, but that’s the message in a nutshell).

If you have a chance, please click the following link, insert your email/info, and click the last star (you only get one shot, so it’s important to click the last star and not the first)! :)

Her segment was Friday, and voting only goes through Sunday, so please take a second and vote now. (The link has been really hit or miss for me. There should be five blue boxes, each with a student name. Jordan’s is the fifth. If you only see the top three, maybe refresh, or check if the very top of two blue boxes are showing—hers will be the bottom-right.) If she wins, she gets to write and share another piece in May and has a chance to earn a scholarship.

Thank you!

Self Reflection

So nice reflecting on “the old days” with my college basketball coach!

https://open.substack.com/pub/jamieduprey/p/self-reflection?r=qk0tn&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true